Natural

The longer I am a mother the more all things natural draws me in. With Big Little I had an epidural/pitocin birth and if you had told me I would ever have a child naturally I would have laughed in your face. By the time I was pregnant with Little Little my "hippie" stage had hit and I had him without any pain killers and in a tub in a German hospital. Even though #2 was much more physically painful the bounce back was great and I felt much more fulfilled, it may have had to do with the fact that I had zero say in what happened in Big little's birth or it may just be that badge of honor I proudly wear for living through naturally birthing a child but, natural has its hold on me. Next time I still would like a little something whether it's natural or not to take the edge of but after one awful epidural I would prefer to never have one again. I "tried" cloth diapers with Little little, tried is a VERY loosely used term there, I had hit that point where nothing seemed to be going as easy as I wanted it and after one attempt I sent them back. Since we are LDS and believe in food storage I ordered some more FLIP diapers to go with our emergency preparedness if there were an emergency in the next 10 or so years there is almost 100% chance we'd have a babe in diapers. I am determined to give them a real chance. We are trying to do more natural made from scratch foods, less processed. And more natural parenting, worrying less about times and following the kids natural rhythm. Having some things that the boundaries are completely set such as eating, sleeping, and how we treat each other, and other things that we allow the kids to do what they want (within reason) like play outside for hours, play in water, and explore things in ways that make me a little queasy.

With the direction our lives are taking being up in the air at the moment, and nothing seeming to go according to our plan I need to just realize we need to try our hardest and trust in the Lord. Instead of spending time worrying about what we should do I have been spending more time thinking excitedly about how I can better the boys lives, through loving them and teaching them.