Monday, June 11, 2012


There are days when Big Little and I butt heads, enormously. I feel like my patience with him is too little, always too little. He is so much like me that some days it's hard for either of us. Yet he (like me) has a sweet side. He is loving and kind and he cuddles his mama every chance he can. Reading about the loss of a child on Pack of Fixations makes me bawl every time without fail. And it makes me realize just how lucky I am to have those moments whether good or bad with my beautiful boys. Those days where you are puked on seemingly endlessly (like Sunday) and those days where your kids won't listen to a word you say they just push the boundaries again and again. I love every moment, sometimes the days are long and I just can't wait for bed time but soon after it hits I find myself going up to kiss my non-sleeping still playing rather loudly boys. And again once they are asleep, and again before I go to bed. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and go upstairs just to look at them and give them a snuggle. I would rather face any struggle God can give me than to loose my boys, I love them so much everything I could have thrown at me would be worth it. My number one thing I have been working on is patience. I think that more than anything will give me the results I want not only with my boys but with our lives as a whole. Besides being a wife to my wonderful hubby nothing can compare to being those boys mama. I hope we have a few more in store for us one day.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


I know it may be ridiculous but starting late on Christmas day I start missing Christmas, and I miss it day in and day out until Thanksgiving when the whole beautiful season starts again. I wouldn't add another Christmas because once a year is part of what makes it special, but I bask in every moment of the Christmas spirit that I can. This year I am already missing German Christmas Markets. Germans do Christmas right, better than anyone I have so far seen. The smell is second to none, even Keukenhof gardens in Holland (if heaven doesn't smell like that place I WILL be disappointed) cannot top the smell of a German Christmas market. The food, the tree's everything about the atmosphere is perfect. From the little shops set up in wooden booths to the different versions of nativities (Bitburg's live animals top all no matter how creepy the mane quins are) I could spend every day of the Christmas season wandering through the markets listening to the live bands, and drinking the cider and shopping, ahh endless shopping for beautiful hand made goods.
Doesn't this look like Christmas heaven?

Monday, June 4, 2012

Helmuth Hubener

Since moving back from Germany my obsession has grown even more, it could have to do with the love I have for Germany or maybe it's just feeling like a piece is missing from life now that we are back . World War 2 has always had a strong draw form me, thanks to watching mass amounts of documentary's with my dad growing up. Today I watched "Truth and Conviction the Helmuth Hubener Story" It's an amazing story of three teenage boys who did all they could to fight the evils of the Nazi regime. The boys were LDS, (Mormon) and something about knowing that those of my faith did all that they could to fight the evils of this era is completely moving. They were so young and although they may have been scared they were truly fearless in their actions. Some members of the faith believed in Nazi's (every faith is full of different political believers) many simply feared objecting but, these three boys were so brave and willing to risk everything to stand for their beliefs. I love history, and knowing where the world has been and what caused those events this story is moving and gives you faith in the world that sometimes feels so full of evil.