Overcoming Fears

My pretty little NICU baby.

Do you have something you fear, something that eats away at you and sometimes becomes an obsession that threatens to overwhelm you.Nothing makes me sadder than the thought of loosing a child or my amazing husband. I am comforted to know that we are sealed for time and all eternity, but the thought of the rest of my life without part of my amazing family makes my heart physically ache. Lately I keep stumbling across blogs about loss and after a post or two the fear threatens to take over. The thought of a stillborn, or the death of a baby makes me not want to ever try for another one. But then I remember all that we have been promised. And while I know the pain would be overwhelming I have to remember that I have been on the threshold of such a fear becoming a reality. And in that moment that we thought we would loose our firstborn after only holding him for a minute and not having the chance to know him I can't forget the comfort we received knowing he was ours forever no matter the outcome. I am in awe of so many women who forage on after such pain, I pray every day that my strength is not tested. I need to focus more on enjoying the moment, letting the craziness and pure chaos that seems to follow my children slide and just enjoy their laughter, their love, and all the pure joy they bring to our lives. I think more than anything I need to focus on how good life is, and what kind of ways I want to spend my short time here on this beautiful earth.